Finding Truth in My Existence
by LoriB
Summary: When a voice in Paul's head told him to convince Jess to carry her pregnancy to term, he only slightly questioned his sanity. That all changed after he watched her get sucked through a rift in time & space before the child could be born. However, the biggest question is, what does it have to do with Ianto Jones, well mannered, unassuming Archivist/Tea boy extraordinaire?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: I come forth and humbly lay this fic at your feet. Ok, here's the gist of it: I've not written in two years due to real life and a super bitchy muse. While I've written a great deal in the past, 99.9% of it was for a different fandom, so not only am I rusty, I'm also venturing into uncharted territory. All I ask is, please let me know what you think but try and not flame me because I'm a delicate flower (not really). I'm nervous but also excited because this is an idea that's been chasing around my head since Gareth played the part of both Peter and Paul in the Twisted Showcase web series episode by the same name. For those who may not have seen his performance or for those that just want another look at Paul and Jess's characters, the link is below this note. Thanks and Peace!**_

watch?v=HSc0jWR1V1o&feature=youtube_gdata_player

_**Title: Finding Truth in My Existence**_

Crossover: Torchwood/Twisted Showcase (Peter and Paul)

Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Paul/Jess

Characters: Torchwood team, and pairings listed above

Disclaimer: Russell T. Davies owns Torchwood (I'd treat them better if they were mine) and 'Peter and Paul' is owned by Twisted Showcase. So basically, don't sue me because you wouldn't get much anyway.

Warnings: Possible spoilers for S1-3 Torchwood-mainly for character background, spoilers for episode 'Peter and Paul' of web series Twisted Showcase, M/M pairing but nothing explicit, talk of abortion, some swearing.

Rated: PG-15

Summary: When a voice in Paul's head told him to convince Jess to carry her pregnancy to term, he only slightly questioned his sanity. That all changed after he watched her get sucked through a rift in time and space before the child could be born. However, the biggest question is, what does it have to do with Ianto Jones, the well mannered, unassuming Archivist/Tea boy extraordinaire of Torchwood 3? More importantly, can Jack and Team Torchwood save him from the demon hidden within himself?

**Prologue **

_Present Day Cardiff_

"Jess, please wait!"

_Angry, frustrated, trapped_. This was not how her life was supposed to be! She was _**supposed **_to get that promotion she worked so bloody hard for; to be a young executive by day and live the carefree club life with her hot and exciting boyfriend by night.

'_Yeah, now I'm as big as a whale, picking out nappies and spit rags with said (not nearly as exciting anymore) boyfriend while Carys, the bimbo from accounting, get's _**MY **_promotion based obviously on her cup size! It sure as hell wasn't by the size of her brain thank you very much!'_

"I can't do this right now Paul, I really just want to get back to the flat and lie down."

Paul finally caught up to his wayward lover at the mouth of an alley where she leaned heavily against a building to catch her breath. "Why did you run out of the shop like that? Are you alright? Did I do something wrong?" The unsaid '_again_' hung heavily between the two.

"It's all just becoming too much, yeah? The baby's due in a month; _**one month**_ and I'm not sure I can go through with this!" Paul moved slowly toward her, hands held a bit in front of him in a placatory manner as to not further agitate her. Seeing the unshed tears that glistened in her eyes, he couldn't help but to reach out a consoling hand to caress her shoulder. Jess swayed away from the touch, wanting nothing more than to put distance between the two of them so she could get her thoughts in order. If she allowed him to touch her now, she'd fall into his warm inviting arms that held an illusion of safety and hope.

Paul didn't physically reach out to her again; instead he tried to ground her with his calm tone and soothing words. His hope was to break through her fears and doubt so she could come to terms with the impending birth of their son.

"Come on Jess, it's natural to feel this way. You'll see, everything's going to work out fine and very soon we'll be able to hold him in our arms; our baby." Jess looked sharply at him, something had tickled at the back of her mind many times over the course of her pregnancy; something that she'd heard from Paul's mouth on many occasions but never gave it more than a cursory thought. Now though, it illuminated like a beacon through her frustration. Her last nerve frayed, she grabbed hold of the non-sequitur with the force of all her pent up anger and spat…"why do you always say _**him**_? Like you can't even fathom that the baby may be a girl….fuck Paul, it may be a _**bloody girl**_!"

She wasn't sure, but Jess could've sworn that she caught a glimpse of fear pass fleetingly across Paul's handsome features, fear from what, she couldn't say. Now however, he just looked so very lost. In the face of his despair, her anger melted away and was replaced with an overwhelming feeling of defeat and resignation.

"Why are we even doing this Paul? When I first told you that I was pregnant, you said you'd support me if I chose to terminate, but within hours you begged me to keep it, to give you this child. I love you Paul but I feel like it's only the baby that you want. Not me. Not anymore." The last bit whispered so heartbreakingly sad, that it caused Paul to take in a shuddering breath. He looked long and hard at the woman before him; the woman who was carrying his child; whom he loved more than he could properly express; who he was just noticing for the first time, looked so anguished that it broke his heart.

He was about to put words to his tumultuous thoughts, to make her understand the vital part she played in this miracle, when wind swept through the alley as shimmering light danced across the floor. The bricks of the building Jess was leaning against looked as if they began to liquefy, while at the same time, she was bathed in an ethereal glow. If the situation wasn't so dire, Paul would've thought she never looked more beautiful.

He tried to make himself move, to attempt to pull her back, but his mind kept telling him that what he was witnessing wasn't real. _'It's my mind playing tricks on me again, she's still standing there…SHE IS STILL FUCKING STANDING THERE!' _

In the end, all Paul could do was watch as the woman he loved and the unborn son that he had begged her to keep, were swallowed by the blinding light. He fell to his knees, wailed with the feeling of utter desolation as he realized that he had finally really truly gone insane!

_19__th__ August, 1983 Cardiff_

"Hey Harkness, we've got rift activity in a car park near Bute Park, readings show it to be biological in makeup."

"Probably just some poor unsuspecting alien picked up by the rift mid shag. Hey, maybe my night's looking up? Can't leave it unsatisfied now can we….gotta make sure our intergalactic goodwill is maintained."

"Oh for….just shut it Harkness and get your kit and go."

"Wow, you're testy tonight. Wanna join me? Nothing better for a bad temperament than an alien orgy I say!"

"Got a visual; humanoid in form, about the size of an average adult; seems to be in some sort of distress, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say…..pregnant..."

"Shit….!"

_**TBC**_

_**Cookies to anyone that noticed the past date ;)**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Title: Finding Truth in My Existence, Chapter One**_

_**Pairings/characters: Jack/Ianto, Team Torchwood, Paul/Jess, Peter**_

_**Warnings: Possible spoilers for S1-S3 Torchwood but nothing specific, spoilers for Twisted Showcase episode 'Peter and Paul', character death, male/male pairing-nothing explicit**_

_**Disclaimer: Torchwood is owned by Russell T Davies and 'Peter and Paul' is owned by Twisted Showcase web series.**_

A/N: This is a set up chapter for the rest of the story. Please know that this has not gone through a beta so all mistakes are mine. Thank you to those who have followed this story/put it on alert and also to those who have commented. If you think you've seen this earlier this year, you did. I took it down to re-write and now it's back. Enjoy and onward...

Chapter One

_**Cardiff-Present**_

"What've we got?"

"Male, twenty seven years of age, goes by the name Paul Evans according to the identification found on his person. Passerby stumbled upon him in an alley, suffering from what appears to be shock. No obvious signs of injury."

The attending in the local A & E had seen her fair share of trauma during her tenure and had an uncanny ability to gather a great deal of information with just a cursory glance. What this particular patient was telling her was that he was suffering from some sort of traumatic psychological event. She'd even go so far as say that Mister Evans was on the verge of a complete and spectacular break down.

"Mister Evans, my name is Doctor Bowen. Can you tell me what happened tonight?" Paul's eyes stared unblinkingly at a corner of the ceiling tile, showing no emotion and no hint that the words spoken to him reached his obviously stressed mind.

"Do we have any information to indicate what happened to him before he was found in this state?" The assisting nurse scanned the notes given by the PC who was first on the scene. "Apparently he was beating his hands against the brick of a building lining the alley he was found in. He was also muttering something that sounded like, 'he took her' over and over again, eventually going mute."

Doctor Bowen examined Paul for any physical injury that may have caused is mental break, just in case her initial assessment of a psychological event was incorrect.

"I don't see any signs of a head injury, nothing to indicate what may have caused his state. Paul, can you hear me?" No response was forth coming.

"Paul, who is missing….who were you referring to?" Those words seemed to penetrate his consciousness as Paul's hand twitched and his eyes shifted slightly, showing terrible fear in them.

"That's it Paul, can you tell me who 'she' is….was she with you in the alley?" Paul struggled on the table; his body and mind recalling the horrible events of just an hour before. Doctor Bowen tried to lay a restraining, yet comforting hand on his shoulders. "Tell me Paul; tell me what happened so we can help you."

Paul cried out, shaking the doctor's grip from his body; the gurney from which he was laid upon threatened to topple over in the wake of his obvious distress.

"Oh, God….Jess! It _**had**_ to be him, he took her. He took Jess and the baby!"

Doctor Bowen, along with two other hospital personnel, restrained Paul's movements once more. Now however, the doctor had a new concern; '_where this woman called Jess, and the baby Paul was speaking of, may be?'_

"Paul, I need you to calm down, I need you to tell me where Jess and the baby are. We need to make sure they're all right. Paul, did someone hurt them; did you hurt them?" At that, Paul became outraged, fighting with a strength that a man his size and build should not possess!

"2 mg Lorazepam stat! We need him to calm down before he hurts himself!"

Just before the sedative pulled Paul into a drug induced slumber, his last words were said with an air of pure hopelessness.

"Peter took her…..please Peter, give them back. Oh God, please…"

_**Cardiff-19**__**th**__** August 1983**_

"I'm pulling along the car park now, direct me in."

"South wall, 45 metres on your right, it looks like it's behind a structure of sorts."

"Going in for visual….standby."

"Keep your com open Harkness!"

"Sir, yes Sir!" '_**One**__ time I get jumped (and didn't __**that **__turn out to be a kinky night) by a shape shifting Cralolix after I gave the all clear, and my over protective boss has to have an open com at all times! I mean seriously, man that can't die, remember?'_

Jack came around the south wall to see a dumpster just ahead. Drawing his Webley, he approached the structure with caution. Slowly, he rounded the corner to see what looked to be a humanoid female curled into a fetal position, weeping quietly. As Jack drew closer, he also noted that there was a pool of blood beneath her.

"Hey boss, I've found what came through." Quickly, he scanned the woman to make sure she was indeed human and not a threat, he approached her carefully. "Hi sweetheart, my name's Jack, I'm here to help you."

The woman didn't move and continued to sob and whimper from fear and obvious pain. Jack bent down in order to be at eye level with the frightened woman, hoping that the action would put her at ease a bit.

"What's your name love?" Not daring to touch her just yet, Jack shuffled just a bit closer to her, to better asses her condition. The girl lifted her eyes to meet Jack's and his heart nearly broke at the fear and pain that was so obvious for him to see within them.

"M-my n-name is Jess. It h-hurts…." Now Jack placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, hoping to convey that he was there to help, and not to harm her or her unborn child.

"Nice to meet you Jess, I know it hurts sweetheart but I'm gonna get you to some help. I'm just going to step over there for a moment. I'll be right back though, okay?" Jess nodded her head, too tired and in too much pain to do much else.

Moving out of ear shot from Jess, he relayed the information to the hub. "Ok boss, what we have here is indeed a human female confirmed by the scan. She doesn't look to be from off world. I'm guessing she came from a different time; most likely future but not too far based on the clothes she's wearing. She's definitely Welsh….you know how I love the sound of those vowels." Jack turned serious once again. "She _**is **_pregnant; heavily so. She's in pain and bleeding….actually, more like hemorrhaging. I know Daniel is a good doctor, but I don't think she'll make it back to the hub. Hospital is closer."

If Jack was honest with himself, he didn't think she was going to make it out of the car park, but he had to try. His boss broke into is thoughts.

"Your call Harkness, but scan her one more time for any anomalies, if she's clean of alien influence than transport to the nearest A & E."

Jack made his way back toward Jess, schooling his features as to not convey any of his worries regarding her dire situation. He kneeled back down to eye level with her once more after he completed the second scan.

"Ok Jess, you look like you need a bit of medical attention and even though I've done some triage in my time, I think this may be beyond my capabilities. So how about we get you to the hospital and see how you and your baby are doing, hmm?"

Jess nodded her head, but was very slow in moving due to the amount of pain she was in. Jack gently lifted her up and carried her toward the Torchwood vehicle. "Let me do the work Jess, you look like you could use a bit of help."

She relaxed as much as she could in his arms given the circumstances. "Where's Paul?"

Must be the beau, Jack thought. This could be an issue. "Is Paul your husband?" Jack opened the door to the passenger side of the vehicle and gently laid her across the back seat. She grabbed his arm as he was retreating from the car. She was obviously very frightened.

"It's okay Jess; I'm just going to jump up front so I can get you some help. I'm not going to leave you alone." The young lady relaxed a fraction and belatedly answered Jack's question.

"He's my b-boyfriend, he w-was with me, and t-then he wasn't. W-what happened….w-where is he?"

This was a delicate situation. He didn't want to lie to her but also didn't want to upset her in her fragile state. "I'm not sure where Paul is love, but once we get you some medical attention, I'll see what I can find out, okay?"

Jess looked very small and very frightened, but Jack could also see the tentative trust developing in her eyes. He wasn't sure what he had done to earn it in the little time that he'd been with her, but it proved a wonderful thing to keep Jess calm.

Jack asked a few questions on the way to the hospital. It served to keep Jess's mind off her pain and to give Jack some essential information regarding where….and when she came from. What he could gather, she and Paul where living together in Cardiff, early twenty first century. He figured she must've fallen between twenty five and thirty years into the past through the rift. Jess also stated that the baby was to be their first, and most decidedly unplanned, with Paul being very insistent on bringing the baby into the world. Jack was sure that there was more to the story but Jess was slowly losing consciousness due to her blood loss. Jack knew they were running out of time….quick!

"Ok love, were just about there. Hold on a bit longer for me, okay?"

Jack ran with lights all the way to the hospital and despite the feeling that it was a long journey, it was in fact, only a handful of minutes from the time they left the car park and pulled up to the emergency entrance of the hospital. Jess was now unconscious and her breathing had become labored. Jack exited the vehicle and called toward two orderlies to bring a stretcher. Between them, they managed to get Jess into the A & E within seconds and under the care of a doctor. Jack stood by the door while he answered the rapid fire questions directed toward him.

"Who is she and what trauma has she sustained?" Jack obviously couldn't tell the doctor that the poor girl had just travelled through a rift in time and space and that most decidedly caused unknown trauma to her already delicate state.

"Torchwood received a call regarding suspicious activities at a car park near Bute Park. When I got there, I found her in pretty much the state that she's in now. Is she going to make it?"

Jack normally wouldn't put much emotional stock into victims of the rift; if he did with every poor soul that he came across, he'd go insane. Jess though, she was so close to giving birth, to beginning a new chapter in her life with this Paul or hers and her new child. Jack couldn't help but feel sadden by the fact that even if her and the baby she carried did survive, her lover would probably never see them again. It hit too close to home. It wasn't that many years ago that Lucia gave birth to his beautiful baby girl, Melissa. Now, Lucia had gone into hiding and even if he'd be allowed to see his child, he'd never truly be able to be a father to her.

The doctor looked at Jack, having dealt on more than a few occasions with the likes of Torchwood, and it was never a pleasant thing to do, he knew that he was unlikely to get any further information regarding his patient's condition from him.

"She's lost a great deal of blood and the child is in distress. An operating theatre is being prepped as we speak for an emergency cesarean section. Does she have any family that we can contact that you may be aware of?"

Jack knew this man didn't like him but that wasn't his concern, or his problem. "Not that I know of; when I asked, she said there was no family and the baby's father died months ago."

The attending narrowed his eyes at the Torchwood operative but didn't question the information he provided. "Are you waiting around for the outcome of this?"

It was Jack's turn to narrow his eyes and spoke through gritted teeth: "I'll be in the theatre's waiting area. I'd appreciate an update once you've finished."

As the doctor exited the room behind his patient, Jack heard a stern: "Very well."

Jack paced the length of the waiting room. Despite the fact that he had been in Wales for more than a century waiting for his elusive Doctor, he had never managed to master the art of being patient. Just when he was about to demand of the desk nurse to find out what the hell was going on, he saw the attending walk somberly toward him. "How is she?"

The physician got right to the point as there would be no easy way to say this. "She didn't make it. There was just too much blood loss when we got to her. I'm not sure what caused it, but she had a partial placental abruption that was most likely brought on by extreme stress to her body shortly before you found her."

Jack had figured this would be the outcome but he was forever an optimist and was hoping beyond hope that she would beat the odds and pull through.

"What about the baby?"

"In many cases, an abruption can be fatal for the baby due to lack of oxygen in the womb but because it was only a partial, the child was able to maintain enough oxygen to sustain him until we were able to get him out. He's a bit on the small side, as I suspect that she was about eight months along, but all things considering, he should fare well."

Well that was something, Jack thought.

"Can I see him; the baby? I just want to see that something good came out of this tragedy." '_And to scan him to make sure he's 100% human_.'

Regardless of the negative feelings the attending had toward the man in front of him, he could tell that he was affected by the events of the evening.

"I'll allow you to see him for a moment, but then he'll need to be placed under a heating lamp to raise his core temperature. This way."

Jack fell in line behind the doctor as he led the way to the nursery.

"What'll happen to him now?"

The doctor opened the door and stood in front of a cot that held the beautiful child that was born into a world with no mother or father to care for him.

"We'll notify social services, which will then look into any family he may have; if there is in fact no one to lay claim to him. Once that's established, I suspect he'll be put up for adoption. I'll leave you to it, you have five minutes."

Jack nodded absently, unable to tear his eyes away from the little boy before him. When the doctor left the room, Jack discreetly scanned the baby and confirmed he was in fact human.

"I'm so sorry you've had such a crappy start to your life. It happens to the best of us though; you and me kid, two people out of our time and for the most part, alone. You'll be okay though. You'll get a new family who will love you and take care of you. I've no doubt you'll have a good life; no memory of how you came to be. I only knew your mum for a short time but she seemed like a wonderful girl. I think she would be proud of you."

Jack stroked the young boy's cheek and stared into the tiny face that seemed to look right into him_. 'What are you plotting in that little head of yours?"_

"Get a grip Harkness, he's just a baby." With one last stroke down the boy's cheek, Jack took his leave.

"Best of luck kid….have a good life."

The baby settled into a peaceful sleep, having no idea of the danger that lurked within him.

_**TBC**_

_**Twisted Showcase, please don't hate me for killing Jess but Paul's still alive…and Peter ;-)**_


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